We Are Deep In the Heart of Texas

Nomadic seasons of farming adventures with nature thrown in to include; a pinch of family, snippets of friends, counting our blessings, paying IT forward, home school, and the spicy things I decide to rant about.







Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Pookies Troubles: 6

Reaching for the phone
Posted Oct-02-07 19:20:31 PDT
I was brought back in the world as I reached for the phone and it rang. It was my husband; she had pulled through the surgery. I just felt deflated as if holding my breath since he left. I asked him if he wanted me to call a taxi or our translator. He said "No, I need a shower and a meal. I will be there to pick you up."
.
I immediately felt a burden lifted and offered a prayer of thanks. We had made another milestone. I did not wept; I was saving that emotional outbreak for later. Our family needed my rational mind not to be over wrought by my heart.
Another day begins.....................
.
Have you ever
Posted Oct-02-07 19:37:00 PDT Updated Oct-08-07 16:21:31 PDT
Decided to mark a moment in your life? To remember everything: sights, smells, music, feelings, thoughts and other details. In the fog of Christmas night: in the dark hours I did just that. My daughter was in critical condition. Her family would need information about her life so; I went on mental record mode.
.
I knew they would need answers that I would be able to provide. Without writing down the details; making our way through this journey I just followed my instinct. I am not saying I was perfect in memory but I could elaborate more details of this stage of our life. It is ingrained in my heart, mind, body and spirit. I was to become my daughter's voice. I would tell her story as I experienced it..

I was just getting Saenz up when I hear the keycard in the door. Giving him a sippy cup; I let my husband in. He looked like proverbial crap warmed over and he just sank onto a bed. I ran Saenz a bath for I knew it was going to be a long day.
.
With the bath started; I went back to my husband. I asked if he slept to which he replied, "I don't know maybe. I followed to the surgery and then her room. Then I sat down near her waiting. Maybe I do not know."
.
"Well let me finish with Saenz and I will take him to the buffet. I will pack a bag from it. You can either take a nap, shower or both. I will try to take 30 to 45 minutes, okay."
He nodded and laid down. When I finished bathing and dressing Saenz for the day. I gave him a cracker. I then went back to hubby and asked, "Did you smell her hands?"
.
We, she won't be the same
Posted Oct-03-07 19:52:19 PDT Updated Oct-08-07 16:19:27 PDT
"Did you smell her hands." I could smell the last time I held her hands the odor of clinical death. Like her body was giving up. (I knew the smell from volunteer hours in a retirement home, at my cousin's bedside, and other hospital stays.) He just shook his head. "I will be back after getting Saenz breakfast. Just rest til we get back." I think he was asleep when we closed the hotel door to eat from the continental buffet.
.
Saenz and I had breakfast. Everything he did not eat like whole fruit, milk in a container, crackers and such I wrapped for my hand bag. I knew the hotel staff saw and just understood our plight. I sipped coffee and iced water because I knew food would slow me down at this point. I had to see, talk and touch her before I could eat.
Saenz and I went back upstairs.
.
I plopped Saenz in front of the tv playing an American cartoon with Portuguese language. Then I found my husband shaving in the bathroom.
.
"Are you okay," I asked him. He just nodded. "She will come back, I feel it. We, she just won't be the same as before and I hope you feel it too." Tears welled in his eyes. "I will gather our stuff for the day. We need to call the translator and my duty section. We have to find a way to get Euros." He nodded and I walked out.
.
I packed up, and waited for our trip to the hospital. We've been here 2 1/2 days, our lives were changing again. We were at the mercy of the Air Force, the Portuguese medical care but, more importantly her recovery. We left........................
.
We get to the hospital parking lot. It is the day after Christmas. My daughter has brain surgery. As we park; I say a prayer---let this day better please.
.
When we get to the lobby our translator, his wife and son are with him. There is another man there. After introductions we go to the elevators. Only one at a time are allowed into ICU. My husband goes in first as I wait with our "friends."
.
Saenz is thrilled to have a young person to talk to as I talk with the adults. They invite us to their home and the other man is an arbitrator who works with the government on San Miguel.
After some time my husband comes out so I can see her. I walk into the foyer of the ward and wash my hands.
.
I walk to the foot of her bed. She has a new tube in the middle of her forehead draining excess fluid. Before I even touch her body; I notice the lightness of her skin by at least three shades. She is swollen and I study the machines and environment.
.

No comments: