We Are Deep In the Heart of Texas

Nomadic seasons of farming adventures with nature thrown in to include; a pinch of family, snippets of friends, counting our blessings, paying IT forward, home school, and the spicy things I decide to rant about.







Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Pookies Troubles: 11

We need to buy a cell phone
Posted Oct-24-07 20:46:08 PDT
I go to the lobby and see my husband and son playing. "We need to buy a cell phone," I told him. We have to gather our son and go to the mall. I explained to him why and he just drove.
As we get there; we are worn out. We know she has to talk to her BIO mom. I am so angry I can spit nails. We have called everyone and explained how to call internationally. But, no one has made the effort. I am beside myself, we just need a phone on a short-term basis.
I have a million questions in my mind:
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Could you allow your child to die alone? How is it possible that at least ten days have gone by with out contacting the other parent?
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I am so beside myself that I ask my husband to let me sit alone before purchasing a phone. I can barely breathe with the anger I feel. There is a phone in her room: why why why does this parent wait for us to contact her own child?
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So Flipping Tired!
Posted Oct-24-07 21:04:26 PDT
I wrestle with the questions of my daugther's life. Her BIO mom is there when it is easy. The Bio Mom is there for fun. I however, am here for the long haul.
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My husband on the other hand is lost. He is deferring her care to me because of my military training. He knows that my education puts me in a better place to make decisions for his child. He understands my intentions better than I do. And yet, I hate this position of power. I just at times want to hand over the reigns.
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I ask who put me here? And I know this child that did not originate in my body is still--my own. She needs me because I am willing to stand up and say enough. I sit alone, so flipping tired trying to figure out the best course.
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Sitting there alone
Posted Oct-24-07 21:39:16 PDT Updated Oct-24-07 21:55:38 PDT
I wait for a voice to tell me which steps to take. My daughter is wanting her BIO mom. I am just sitting there alone.
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She has been in a state of slumber. Her body is not her own. I sit alone in our rented car and ponder the situation.
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Maybe BIO mom has no money. Perhaps BIO mom is confused from my directions. Yet, I have other thoughts. (she is looking for a easy path) All I know is my promise to my daugther.
She will talk to her, MOM.
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I figure what do I have to lose? I am alone in my thoughts. Though I have my husband, he is lost in guilt. Our son is only five. (I saw her move from his beautiful voice.) What am I supposed to do?
I bow my head and listen:
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I call the HEIFFER
Posted Oct-25-07 20:25:56 PDT
Okay, so we go to buy a phone. I make sure we have a credit card. Why does the Bio Mom not call?
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We listen to the terms of the phone contract. We do not know if we will be here a week or months. And we chose a plan and phone and charge it. Luckily, my husband has saved his salary for almost two years.
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We leave and I figure out how to activate the phone. We walk around the Portuguese Mall browsing. We call all that we know. Give them updates as I am sure she will be moved from ICU soon to a room without out tubes and breathing machines. Saenz is crying and wants food so we take him to the food court.
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Our first phone call and it is her and she will not speak to me. Bio Mom is on strike and I hand the phone to my husband as I purchase a Happy Meal version for my son.
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