Pookies Troubles: 12

Why defer to him?
Posted Oct-28-07 21:17:42 PDT
I sit there in a tizzy; wondering why she will not talk to me. Bio Mom is talking to my husband and he can not answer questions about her daughter's health only kept asking me more questions. I know the: procedures, medications, therapies and staff.
EGADS, swallow your pride woman!
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I am beside myself. I have not the time or energy to be angry but, she is wasting our time and money by playing games of control over her lack of control.
"Just admit woman you made a mistake by giving your only daughter up to my husband's and my care," I think inside my head.
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Really, I just don't understand her. I have read volumes in pyschology on the motivation of helplessness" (her own choice.) She gave up her children so as to not pay child support. Yet, why not ask and call to inquire if her daughter will live and her chance to recover? Don't you think she would at least make the attempt once to call her own daugther in the hospital? It has been almost two weeks and nothing from BIO MOM.
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Then it dawns on me!
Posted Oct-28-07 21:25:07 PDT Updated Oct-28-07 21:32:51 PDT
BIO MOM does not want to admit lack of: care, love, mothering, education or ability to find her flesh and blood help.
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She gave the reigns over to another woman. This woman is feeling guilt and anger over giving up on herself and those whom where entrusted in her care by our Creator.
Now, I am in a quandry. So, I just defer to him answering her questions. Because I know BIO MOM will never be the same giving up control over such important part of her life.
She gave up so much in the "name of freedom to pursue her youth and freedom."
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But most of all!
Posted Oct-28-07 21:29:33 PDT
Bio Mom is scared and without resources to help her only daughter. What a revelation for me sitting there listening to their conversation. So--------
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I decide to find a way to include her some-where in our journey.
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OUR daughter needs us all to help guide her through this horrible event.
I will find a path to let us all in during recovery.
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Moving into general population
Posted Oct-30-07 20:31:12 PDT Updated Nov-04-07 17:19:52 PST
We have been notified that the hospital staff is moving her into a semi-private room. To make sure they take more xrays to see if she is still bleeding. And we follow from test to test.
Then we follow the orderlies into her new room. She has only one roommate. An older woman around sixty with no family with her. So we start the watch in shifts and I have the daytime so, I was fortunate enough to take my text book on child pychology from our home.. My course is on-line and in winter break. I sit there with her and read from the book. It is our only diversion not to include the the daily workings of her care.
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So I read to her in between "visits" of staff caring for her............
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No one in this country is here for their family members. They take their clues from the doctors. Doctors are demi-gods here. Why would you leave a loved one into the care of someone you don't know? And I read to her; while she is trying to fully recover.
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Her face and body are not her own. One side of her face is paralyzed as well as her body. I have to keep helping her move. She lists to one side and drooling from her slack mouth.
I feed her yogurt and water. She follows all the actions in the room. She tries talking and becomes frustrated at the lack of control of her mouth. But she does not cry or struggle.
Where did the strength of surviving come from?
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During this time: no phone calls from bio mom or other family members. Medical staff here can "drink" on break not to mention smoke. Human modesty is not adhered to and I mean just by covering her body or closing the curtain.
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Where the hell is everyone from my unit, command and base? Where is her bio family? Why am I taking care of a child that will see any handout from her family as proof of care?
So, I just tend to her needs and read to her.
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