"SWITCHES" For My Friend Kat

In memory of David, who died last night: husband, father, friend, educator and all the roles a man could own.

The Story of Switches written in 2007.


'Once I was listening to a doctor explain to his young patient and family about cancer.  How some people were able to fight the disease and survive while, others do not do as well? He made the analogy of people and their lives being a series of switches:

This doctor took the time to draw on a white board a series of switches in a line which represented a person’s life.


He went on to explain everyone is born with a number of switches on a switch board. If one person smoked the lung cancer switch (choice) came on or off based up another series of switches say: diet, heredity, spirituality, weight, exercise, environment, medication, exposure, stress, mental ability to cope, or lifestyle.


He told his patient that while he did not know why her cancer switch was turned on to begin with; he would help her and her family try to find the switch to turn it back off. And he needed her to tell him what was important to her so he could find the right series of switches to flip.


The amazing thing is, this 10 year old girl understood the doctor’s analogy. Tyra went on to tell the doctor what she felt was important for her to get better.


I sat in the room in awe of her, her maturity and understanding. I watched her with her mom and was there for some of her therapies. She went into remission for awhile I would hang with her when I could not sleep. My daughter and she became fast friends along with the other children on the ward.


One night, she told me, “I am not afraid to die but,” she did say, “I am afraid of my Mommie being alone.” I asked her if she talked, to her mom about it and she just shook her head no and we dropped the subject.


Just after Easter 2004, Tyra slipped into a coma, her body shut down and the little girl died. I went to her funeral out of state, it was then I asked her mother if I could name the child I was carrying after Tyra.


Her mom, Mary asked what happens if you have a boy. To which I replied, “I will switch the name to fit a boy.” Zephyr Aryt, is the SWITCH that represents Tyra’s life and we all go on.'


Kat, My over the pond sister.  I too grieve and mourn with your family today.  You are a part of my soul and have given me many switches..........


Rest in Peace David


LOVE,
Mal