Seems I have felt like an outsider all my life. I just am not a tactful person and never will be. I recognize my trait and have learned to just shut up or walk away in situations where others believe they are right or justified. Lets look at some areas of my relationships:
I am not a racist so, I was shunned for marrying Hispanic man with children. (He is only using you for a babysitter. Mexicans are so lazy.)
I do not cotton to whiners about how terrible life is; I change myself to go forward. (Thus, I am labelled a snob - or She thinks she is too good.)
I refuse to subject my children to family situations in which, they are a target of biases. (IE no vacations to my childhood birth place.
She is not my mother. (Step mom, horrible terrible creature.)
She is not hispanic. (White girl, not my daughter, doesn't speak the language, Has funny ways.)
I am loud and then to blurt out answers. (She is such a know it all.)
I do not bring home the workplace. (She doesn't participate in off duty activities.)
I am uncomfortable being around folks, I have to edit myself around. (I am not a devout Christian but, do have spiritual beliefs.)
I feel like I don't know what I am doing. (totally feel like an unprofessional though I taught adults for 20 years.)
I am still trying to figure out things in life and never feel like I am a perfect fit with others. It is hard for me to reach out and make friends so, I usually just stay home. It has been almost three years since Joleen died of breast cancer and I am alone as ever. I am just trying to figure out how to be a good but, wounded friend looking for a female friend with common interests. I know in order to be a well-rounded person; I need people. I don't know if that need is a validation thing or just the glimpse of feeling human. Any ways, I digress and will self-reflect more later.......