I Love Being Here

By that declaration, I mean my station in life.  I am the 'regular stopping place' for my family members to fill their hearts or unload their baggage.  It is quiet an alarming thing to realize you are the fulcrum in other peoples' lives especially children. Today I realized not only am I a grand mother but, have settled into the role my own grandmother had in my life -- balance, security, and open arms.

Each day I am the one responsible for setting the tone of our family.  I really don't think I could have done this in my twenties. I was just too self-centered to give to my full attention to rearing an emotionally secure child or being a part of a successful marriage.

There is nothing better in life than to have a home life (station) that completely meets my once wandering soul's drive for adventure.  

On a separate note: this morning we had a visitor.  Do ya'll love finding critters at your homesteads?  I know Saenz and Zephyr are nature lovers; I hope they continue far into the future to love the natural world. 

 This little garter snake is simply gorged on a mouse.  Zephyr found it behind one of our gardens in our inner yard.  I could have actually reached out and picked it up.  But, since its belly was full; we left it alone.

Have a glorious week in your slices of heaven!

Passing on Traditions: Happy Easter

Happy Easter to all who pass here. 

 May all your blessings be joyful!

On Veteran's Day: I Can't Explain Why

On this day of thanking our nation's veterans; I am hard pressed to explain to my sons and husband why I cry when watching or hearing:

the National Anthem, TAPS, Saluting the Flag or President, taking an oath of office, listening to prayers for peace, attending a funeral, visiting a memorial for the fallen, the Passing of the Colors, or witnessing those gathered in ceremonies to recognize veterans or our fallen. 

I well up for all those families, co-workers, and friends who have waited for months or years for their loved ones to come home.  I just bawl for those who will never again slip their loved ones into their embrace. 

As a veteran, I love my country with all her blessings and flaws and though I never stepped foot onto a battle field; I weep from feeling guilty of not being chosen to stand by those who did.  It's not that I feel cheated but, I feel like I cheated because of not being there with my 'band of brothers.' 

It is so hard to explain to my sons how being in the military; I served in only support roles. Or convey the unity of standing in a flight, with the smell of starch so strong;  it caused hunger pangs in the wee mornings during reveille's beaconing call to duty. Somethings I can only tell them about from a point of view that is still burns in my soul at the sound of a band's first solemn note -- taking me back to my youth and honor as a airman.

Another point, I can not tell them what it is to be a man in uniform so there are times I just can not speak since, I am a woman.  I can only allow them to see my tears on days such as this. On this day, I pray for peace and say thanks to all who have served to include friends and family of those who did.

May God be with you,
USAF RET,
Mal Torres
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=radaOA0eFsw (Army Cadence Ad)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8-XkPJXhCw&feature=related (Air Force Cadence)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7MlFdFs1z0&feature=related (Marine Cadence)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qv0CJnTtn8 (Navy Cadence)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1E1F5x85-g&feature=related (National Guard)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x__WAj170F0 (Coast Guard)

Have You Ever Read The Preamble?

Let me refresh your memory.

"We the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect Union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessing of liberty to ourselves and our prosterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States."

This was an introductory phrase written to outline the Constitution's guiding principles. Just think of the Preamble as a 'The DUMMIES GUIDE: To The U.S. Constitution.'   Does the average American take these words to heart?  My wager is to that question is, 'No.' If one was to take the preamble and breaks it down into parts just what does it mean?  Well for me the following are my core principals as a human being, citizen, defender of freedom, and most importantly as a parent. 

"WE THE PEOPLE of the United States, in order to form a more perfect Union,"  We are to come together as a nation. To work together as one, to reach across the aisle and compromise for the common good of man.  Has anyone seen this lately?

"Establish Justice,"  We have built a system of local, state, and federal laws. However, Lady Justice has been hog-tied. Justice has become unbalanced to give those with monetary means the ability to by pass common sense and decency through loop holes.  We need to put her blinders back on and take lawyers' fingers off the scales.  (Sorry waxing poetic there.)

"Insure domestic tranquility," We could not have 50 unique states trading and using 50 monetary systems -- trade is crucial to a 'union.'  We had to come together to have a single focus for roads, laws, immigration standards, language, and lay the framework to keep peace. It also means we (individual states) have equal representation in Congress based not only upon state population -- the House of Representatives but; representation not based upon size -- the Senate.   This also includes the role of the Supreme Court to insure no laws are unjust under the Constitution.

"Provide for the common Defense,"  this is our five branches of military, national guard, para-military, and public education (police, fire, and to me education because an educated UNION is more apt to be secure.) We had to have a 'common defense' to secure our national borders.  We have to have a 'common defense' to fight diease.  We have to have a 'common defense' to assist citizens during natural or man-made disasters.  We have to have a 'common defense' because we are humans who need the security of knowing we (the U.S.) will be here (collectively) tomorrow. 

"Promote general welfare,"  Now many folks have issue with the term welfare but, the actual term was originally used as such.

World English Dictionary  welfare (ˈwɛlˌfɛə) — n, 1. health, happiness, prosperity, and well-being in general http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/welfare

Only later did this word come to mean government assistance.  The general welfare in my opinion can be simply summed up as:  "I am my brother's keeper."  I have the responsibility as a citizen to assist those who need a hand up.  I have no issue helping those out of work keep their homes, feed their family, educate their children, and have access to medical care through paying taxes or contributing to charity. Because until the last head in our country has a safe place to lay his/her head; we have failed to protect ourselves.

The final part is: "and secure the blessing of liberty to ourselves and our prosterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States."  This is me simply outlines national goals of being a union; free to speak, become educated, seek medical assistance, congregate, build homes, set aside for our future & our childrens' future, find redress of concerns, worship, live, work, dream, hope, move about the country; etc.  Our Constitution is what we make it. 

Without folks actually learning what is in the document; we can never be truly free.

Steps off soapbox, heads into the classroom...............

The Strange History of Don't Ask, Don't Tell (DADT)

This weekend Directv has a free promo weekend allowing us to view HBO programming.  I stumbled on a documentary called 'The Strange History of: Don't Ask, Don't Tell." This is a great documentary for outlining the historical policies / discussions behind the decision to allow 'gays' to serve in the military.

(Shakes head here --- because they have been and will always be a part of humanity and not just seeking admittance to a single group.) 

Now you are probably wondering why I am writing about this topic? Right.....

Simple, I served from March 1986 until April 2006 in the United States Air Force.  My first job was in the intelligence field.  We had to attain, maintain, and retain a top secret clearance to just be able to work.  No problem right for most service members however, there is a caveat for serving honestly (honor code) and keeping no secrets -- to inform on other service members of their unlawful behavior to include what was then thought to be sexual misconduct. 

My first room mate was a lesbian and when I moved into our then room; she informed me at great peril to her career.  Personally, I did not care about her personal behavior and did not see homosexuality as a problem.  One reason for my acceptance of her and to not inform my superiors was simple.  I knew of a couple of family members who were also lesbians (though closeted) and knew homosexuality did not keep them from living honorable lives.  They had families, jobs, hopes and dreams.  I decided to love my friend more than myself and honor her disclosure even though I could have lost my career by staying silent.

Later in 1993, when DADT was passed I never understood the big deal because American soliders for the most part had already been living with that standard.  What chapped my arse was the DISHONESTY of DADT; the military was advising its members to stay silent.  To me the double standard was humiliating and dishonorable because to lie by omission is still a lie.  Why did I not 'TELL' was quiet a simple rationalization in my thinking process and I used a 4 Star's quote to cement my silence in uniform.   

"Integrity is what you do when no on is looking,' RET Gen M. McPeak. 

I still choose to support the gay community to have the same laws to include marriage recognition as a man/woman has the right.  When 'we the government' deny one group its inalienable rights to pursue their lives in the manner of their choosing then; the next step of the community is to limit others. 

http://insidetv.ew.com/2011/09/17/dont-ask-dont-tell-hbo-doc-clip/

The marriage arugment is a kicker because it was once a form of property laws awarded to a man.  Marriage bound a woman to a man and all she brought with her into the marriage became the property of her husband.  And if one was to research even further to say 'rape,' this was also a property law because women either were the property of their fathers or husbands. Meaning if a woman was raped it was a crime committed against her father or her husband.  (sobering thought eh?)

Nowadays,  marriage definitions have changed THANK GOODNESS.  This is just my humble opinion; if a person wants to marry is it not my business to say if they are awarded that right as long as both parties are adults.  If a person is gay; it is not my business what life choices they make as long as he / she is an adult. 

ENOUGH SAID ALREADY!

Keep government out of our bedrooms, homes, and careers!

Have a great day in your slices of heaven.
Mal

Where Is God?

The reasons why I talk to our sons about my beliefs is to allow them a peek into what my character is, where I come from; and hopefully where I want to be in the future. Most of the time when it comes to ideals or beliefs; I let my sons work things out for themselves.  However, I do believe I must teach or guide them in their paths to become honorable men and in this I am a servant.  The other day we had an interesting conversation that kinda went like this:

Why do you stop to make sure others are okay on the side of the road?

Answer: 'Because I was taught you never know where Jesus or God is.  Perhaps he is testing my learning as a child by waiting to see if I will do as I was taught to help others in need.'

What happens if they want to rob or kill you?

'The way I see that scenario is perhaps; it is God's way of calling me home to be with Him while, I am following my gut to help.  Just maybe; he wants to see if I am afraid to follow or deny my beliefs.  Yes, it is possible I may die but, there is also a chance I may not get to another opportunity meet my maker.  If I ignore the 'call' or 'opportunity to serve,' will I hear his vioce again?

Now this line of reasoning and blind belief may be crazy to some.  Heck even my husband doesn't subscribe to my point of veiw.  Yet, I am a servant and will always be so.  I am here to help others or to teach; that is my calling and I accept this.  I not crazy enough though to allow strangers into my vehicle if I am alone or with our sons but, I always have a cell phone to offer.  Most of the time, these strangers just wave me on so; I just get peace of mind they will not be left stranded.  What I do want my sons to understand; you may be afraid of the wolf but, never stop being a person of faith and living. 

I leave ya'll with this quote:

"He who is not a good servant shall not be a good master."
Plato

Something I Feel I Must Pass On

I found this article by Rebbeca Dube on Today's website.
"Little girl loved: One father's open letter to a young rape victim."
http://moms.today.com/_news/2011/03/18/6294525-little-girl-loved-one-fathers-open-letter-to-a-young-rape-victim

And then followed it to the open letter on a blog highlighted in red.  Such a beautiful letter.


"[Editor's Note: After reading our MyBrownBaby post, "Gang Rape In Texas: When Will We Stop Sacrificing Girls In Defense of Black Boys," Nick was moved to pen this letter to the 11-year-old victim. I extend a special invitation to the mothers and fathers who've read this powerful prose to leave empowering and loving messages to and for this child, and the many more like her, here at MyBrownBaby and at the Little Girl Loved FaceBook Group started by MyBrownBaby friend Robin Caldwell. We also suggest you follow @littlegirlloved on Twitter and, with the hashtag #littlegirlloved, share this post and the many e-letters we hope to collect for this child. Let’s lift her spirit and let her know that if her town won’t support her and her family, we certainly will.]


Nick Chiles, a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist, is the author of eight books, including the New York Times bestselling tome “The Blueprint: A Plan for Living Above Life’s Storms,” co-written with gospel legend Kirk Franklin. Nick also writes for several publications including Essence, where he frequently pens stories about fatherhood and manhood."

http://mybrownbaby.com/2011/03/black-father-kicks-off-a-love-letter-campaign-in-support-of-the-11-year-old-gang-rape-victim-in-cleveland-texas/

So I found myself posting (sharing) this beautifully written letter to my Facebook friends and I thought I would share this letter with those who pass this way.  My heart is so sad and full for the young girl who had to endure such torture at the hands of many. 

Counting Blessings, Enjoying the World and Its People

Today is just so beautiful; the boys and I have been outside.  Just a little chilly wind but crisp azure skies are just so stunning.  We are very fortunate to have each other and be supported by the most wonderful providers; Our Creator and hubby.  For without them both  --  our lives would be so very different and difficult.

Some things I have learned along the way:

1. Say 'thank you' often.
2. Tell your children and loved ones; you love them and show it.
3. Play with your hubby like you are children: allow your children to see your joy at being together.
4. Hug your loved ones daily.
5. Give your children a sense of history; tell them about their people; who were probably pretty darn amazing.
6. Don't sweat things you can not change.
7. Have goals and work towards them until achieved; let your children see your struggles to teach them how to cope.
8. If you are not happy; then it is probably you -- so work to change yourself.
9. Don't ask of others what you are not willing to do.
10. Make daily living chores fun by working along with your children to impart your work ethic.
11. Show empathy for all living things even those you deem the lowliest like bugs and snakes because, they too play a role in the universe.
12. Know the names of those who serve you.
13. If you don't like the job someone else had accomplished; then show them the way by teaching.
14. Don't criticize out of anger or frustration do so in love gently.
15. Allow failure from time to time; for without failure we do not appreciate what we have after awhile.
16. Be honest, not spiteful; there is a difference.
17. Recognize everyone makes mistakes including yourself -- accept the outcome of your actions; say sorry, make amends and mean it.
18. Look up sometimes to feel the sun on your face, smell the air around you, and change directions.
19. Recognize we all get there eventually but, may not take the same path.
20. Trust that people are basically good, and want to do the right thing and while there are some who are the exception ... see 19 if you don't agree.
21. Give encouragement to those who need it, a helping hand up, a shoulder to cry on for one day you may require the same.
22. Learn something new everyday and then teach it to someone else -- there is a world to discover.
23.  Get your hands in the dirt or use them to make something.
24.  Smile in the face of adversity like you have a secret because you do; YOU HAVE FAITH the world is a wonderful place.


Then when all else fails........Forgive, forgive, forgive
or ask forgiveness.

That Is What I Am Here For

"That Is What I Am Here For"

January 26, 2011

Sometimes you ponder the why’s of what I do

Or ask “What exactly are you about?”

Well my hubby and sons I will tell you

What I am here for

I am here to comfort your wandering mind

To wipe away tears, kissed scrapped knees, and boo boos

To sit watch over you in your feverish sleep

To hold you when your dreams are bad

To encourage you when you want to try something new

Soften the blows from life when you fail

To hold your hand on your first or millionth step

To push you when you want to hide

I am here to make you smile because I am a tad loony

To be your memory in case you need to learn from history

I am here to make sure your home is clean and pantry full

Dishes are washed with dinner on the table

Yes, I had a life before I was blessed chosen to be a wife

But that was then, I've lived many lifetimes; 

I achieved my wildest dreams, fulfilled my destiny as soon as

As soon as I held you (my boys) in my arms;

 

To be here for you; that is what I am here for.

This poem is dedicated to Saenz and a conversation we had three nights ago.  He wanted to know if I was bored being a wife and mother; that perhaps I had not gotten the chance to live a fulfilled life.  It is funny how folks will think, women who choose to have children or be a wife; have no prior life or are unhappy.  I guess my place now doesn't seem as exciting to him as when I wore the Air Force uniform.  It is hard to explain to a mind that is slowly opening up to grasp the meaning of life; how small things are important. 

Yet, I am happier now than I have ever been in my life.  I am so truly blessed to have the responsibility and joy of being their mother and wife to their father.  To me being 'Mom' is just as scarey (exciting) as holding an M16 and standing guard at a entry control point. I never know what is going to happen nor the outcome from our shared experiences.  It is definitely much more thrilling to be on the roller coaster ride of the day to day with my menfolk. 

A Soul Generated By Love

This day to me is special because I reflect on my own behaviors I project onto my children.  Each day am I making a conscience effort not to be ruled by the human flaw of racism?  Am I a prejudiced person? I would like to believe I am not but, I must be.  I am a flawed human and must work daily to over come the ideal that I am superior to anyone. 


 One of my favorite quotes by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr is,

"Everybody can be great... because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love."

So I ask myself today, have I the 'served' the world by teaching our sons to accept and love others?   I would like to believe I have and will one day see if our actions as parents will bring forth Men who, also will serve humanity for a greater good.

Another favorite quote from Dr. King is,

"We will have to repent in this generation not merely for the hateful words and actions of the bad people but for the appalling silence of the good people." - Martin Luther King, Jr., "Letter from Birmingham Jail"

 
I ask myself -- have I always been on my best behavior or have I allowed things to go by with silence?  I firmly believe humans who are stronger should always assist those who are unable to help themselves through adversity, hardship, and or an unjust battle.

And while I love my sons with all my heart; I pray we have raised good servants.  I hope we have taught them to love others just as we do.  I look forward to seeing them move about the world as men of character who, are willing to risk their comfort for their fellow man.  I leave you with this last quote.

"If a man hasn't discovered something he will die for, he isn't fit to live." - Martin Luther King, Jr

Heroes I Have Never Met

It is amazing to sit and think who may have influences your lives without even having to met them in person.  I have been encouraged by many authors whom I admire like Maya Angelou, Emily Dickerson, Walt Whitman and many others.

Here is others I admire and respect:

Oprah Winfrey (she got the world reading again),

Queen Latifah (so multi-talented and spunky),

Ellen Degeneres been following her career since the 90s,

Prince (his amazing range and talent as a musician,

Hiliary Clinton
     (I named a goat after her and would now vote for her as President of the US.  Simply because she has learned how to be more diplomatic by being Secretary of State.)

Etta James, Nina Simone, Billie Holiday, Melissa Ethridge

Shartey my adopted eBay blog mother

Grumpy Gramps gives so much of himself and inspires our boys

Kelley the amazing cat rescue woman

Jan raising awareness for MND,

Julia Childs, I remember watching her cooking shows (in black and white) as a child thus sparking my love of cooking.

Kat for reasons that are personal and dear as she is begining her life again.

Judy for her ability to bounce back after being tossed about.

Then again I have taken inspiration and hope from all the bloggers I read.  I  also thoroughly enjoy my Facebook account thanks Mr. Zuckerman.  Just think of all the folks who touch your lives silently everyday. Perhaps if we all took time out to think of more positive thoughts and send those thoughts up --our world would not be as angry....?

Points of View

Yesterday,  I noticed something that kind of got me upset.  Only one channel here broadcast the bestowment of the Medal of Honor to the first living recipiant since 1970s a Vietnam War veteran. 


The ceremony was beautiful; the honoree was humble with his wife by his side and, all others were in awe.  Then I look around the internet, newspapers, and other outlets -- almost complete silence.  This hero served valiantly: saved lives under hostile fire, rescued his comrades, kept another from falling hostage, and got wounded. 


So, I got to wondering about the lack of notice of such an important event at least to me.  Perhaps others do not find my point of view into this event meaningful. 

Much like this beautiful face, we only know what we experience first hand or through others.  We are born with an innate sense of trust and joy. Usually we look no further than our immediate surroundings or comfort zone and as we age grow more cynical.

Seldom do we choose to face our fears,

Or to take comfort in those who love and support us.

It takes a special kind of  person to open up to the world and commit oneselves to a way of life few experience like military service. It takes courage to change your point of view, to explore new worlds, live in danger on the combat field, or to 'sound my barbaric YAWP over the roofs of the world,' (Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass).

It also takes a special person to look at the world through another's eyes and see their point of view even if doing so makes you uncomfortable.  My salute and upmost respect to SSG Giunta, his wife, peers, family, and friends.  Because of young men and women such as he is; one day just maybe our sons will be willing to follow in his footsteps for all of us.

Passport to India Begins Today

This is a neat way for kids to see other cultures.  What I noticed right off was Mr. Chris wore flip flops on his journey to India. I think that was a brilliant decision because feet swell on plane trips. 

Last week we recieved our passports and suitcase for the trip.

We also filled in our passports and discussed what we would take if we only had a small suitcase.  Personally from experience, I would only pack three days clothes and use my sink to wash as I needed.  I am a light packer because I hate carrying things.  The boys imagined what the 25 hour plane trip to Mumbai must have been like for Mr. Chris plus; going through security.  Zephyr has not been on an airplace since he was a fetus so has no idea how bored he would become.  Later we will be exploring maps and other websites to learn about India for tomorrow's exploration. Enjoy!  

http://www.mypassporttoindia.org/day-1/