Do You Have Family Traditions?

Hubby had three children when we married in 1996 and I had none.  Talk about a bumpy ride trying to establish a family when the children were not only taken from their safety net after the divorce.  But, their new but EVIL, WICKED STEP-Mother had a strange outlook about many things. LOL


Mainly discipline (I was military and came from a strict upbringing.)

However, I did start a few new traditions for the kids.  (Sid 13, Junio 16, Saenz 6 mos, Lisa 10) One was since I was always watching my weight in the military -- mind you I am not a waif, more like an amazon with big ole butt and top to match.  I would have the birthday child after everyone had taken a slice, close their eyes, and then plunge their entire face into the sweet remains to devour the left over.  This made for the best photo opportunity ever and memories. 


The next was 'Junk Food Night on a carpet picnic' since, I was not big on buying or keeping junk foods in the house.  We would take the kids to the store and let them pick out 3 to 5 things each and then unload them onto a picnic blanket back home --- they could eat or drink what they wished but; once the night was over the left overs, LEFT.   I think one of these times SID, my billy goat tried sushi with me.  LOVE, LOVE, LOVED taking Sid out to eat; he would try anything.


The one tradition I loved the most was taking a picture of all the children together on the First Day of School.  I can hardly believe this will be the 15th school day photo on Monday.  Much has changed, Junio has had 3 children, Sid is still single bopping around in community college, Lisa has moved back home, Saenz has been pulled out of public school, and now we have beautiful Zephyr.  It makes me cry to think of all we have built together.

Humility vs Humiliation, Discipline vs Chaos

After reading the responses to my last blog; I began thinking.


Am I person who practices humility or humiliation when dealing with folks as I lose my patience?  Not according to one definition of humility: politely submissive. My bravado to the public can not be described in this fashion but rather a chink in my armor.


Most from reading my last input would think I am a horrible tempered person however, I usually 'let stuff go' until it festers into a simmering volcano over lack of forward movement. Meaning, in 14 years of marriage when we argue it is because I have had enough, and basically vomit my displeasure into the open because I have been patient far too long. I just let things ride; awaiting the decision making process until, I cannot sit still or keep my ravenous maw closed.


Many years learning about myself and why I do things the way I do; I am left in shambles sometimes because I still feel like the child who's most admired person did not want me. I know I look like my father, their relationship was tumultuous and violent. The person I craved attention from the most used humiliation, neglect, violence, or scathing silence as a form of discipline. So now many years later I find myself wondering what kind of damage I am doing to my own children. I don't do the 'humiliation' tactic to bring them into my ideal of how a child should behave. However, I have yelled at them and this to me is humiliating and afterwards I apologize for my flaws, mistakes and methods.


So what does this have to do with thinking on one's feet, fore-seeing possible outcomes, or inner voice / role playing? Because this tool became another way I learned to compartmentalize so, I could survive in hostile environments without losing face and my soul.


Thank you all for commenting; you have taught me and given me more reasons to think, explore and learn.

Welcome to my blog: PJ, MOJO, and Jabacue.  I will be visiting your places of solitude later.

True Story From My First Paying Job

My mom after much badgering talked to the owner of Wimpy's submarine sandwich shop Bellflower, California.  She use to go there quiet often for lunch because the shop was down the road a piece from where she worked, National Lumber. (I can't believe I found their advertising slogan.)

If the owners Paul and Kathy (both Korean born) would hire me; I could walk there after walking my sister home from Mayfair High School at the time I was 15 and she was 13.  In those days it was 'KINDA' safe to walk home but, not always.

So I was hired (1982) to work part time after school which amounted to 30 hours a week at $2.65 -- I was considered wait staff.  My pay was a whopping $62 bucks a week after taxes and that money went straight to my mom.  However, what I remember from the job was the training I was given: sandwich construction, cooking, cash register, stocking, cleaning, dish washing, cleaning, meatball sauce making, handling drunk smart butts on their lunch break, (there was a service window for an attached bar and convenience store), how to make change, inventory, listening to Koren Opera mixed with the bar's juke box, customer service, meat slicing, and on occasions slow - slow days. 

One day after Paul had been particularly cranky; he sat down in one of the 6 booths the place had to give me a break from his constant lectures.  So this customer came up and ordered a sandwich; thus I made the sandwich and was going to accept his payment.  THEN HE HANDED me a fifty dollar bill --- I froze.  I had only ever been trained to handle smaller bills.  I racked my brain trying to figure out what I should do.  I could not make change in my head.

After what felt like a lifetime, Paul came up behind me and told me which bills to give the customer while apologizing to him for my inept service.  Why does this event stick in my mind so clearly?????????????

It was a turning point for myself.  I decided never to be stumped again by figuring things out ahead of time, emergency what ifs planning, on my own even if I had no experience.  Is it any wonder manic depressives, multi personalities, ADD, ADHD, or paranoids exist? I would just SEE THE SOLUTION by flashing out possible outcomes.  While my mother had been tough to live with it was different in public.  Our family squabbles were private however, I decided not to be a failure in front of folks again.  At least not a DEER CAUGHT IN HEADLIGHTS failure because as you know; deer often lose their battle with fear.  Thus, this moment became the birth of Trigger Happy me.

I think this is where I developed my impatience with folks who have to take time to process information before making a decision.  It's an ugly side to me; I am learning to temper with time.  I am not always sucessful but, I recognize my downfall and realize not everyone grew up in an hostile environment.

She Came Around the Bend

Before Delivery:

Sorry I digress, My HUSKY.

Hubby with a hacksaw.

THERE SHE IS --- MS. AMERICA. (LOL I am old!)

Our viewing audience and supervisory team.

She is done! No more view of our neighbors yard.  Phew! Now the real work begins. Hope ya'll are doing well.  I have my class work done for the week.  Hubby took the kids with him to get an oil change at Wally World (Wal-Mart).  Now I just have to figure out what to make with the steaks for tonights dinner.  I am going snooping at all the gardener's blogs; I know I have veggies in the up right.

Much Love!!!!!!!!!

I forgot the after shot.  Let me go get one! Be back later to update.  Too many irons in this Chicken's fire.

WAA LAA!!

Got Pecker?

I think this is a female golden-front juvenille.  I don't know much about woodpeckers but, found this one on our front porch this morning.  You decide Red-Belly or Golden Front; though it is hard with juvenille birds sometimes.  This was one of the clearest images I got while she was trying to find her way off the front porch. Poor Thing, her call sounded like a squirrel distress call which alerted me to her position.  Don't tell her that, she will probably be insulted.

Today is delivery day.  Can't wait to start our next project.  Texan, I understand you girly.  Two or three hours of mowing every second or third day.  Though, with the rain being absent maybe I will get a break.  I have my new cow girl high-fashion broken in already.  Next, I will be trimming small trees and weed eating. ACK! So much to do so little time.

Off to do my homework, will check back later.

So Damned Disappointed 8o(

Glad I listened to Texan by not going to pick up Callie's sister.  At one year old, she was just too full of the pack mentality and became a small animal killer.  We lost a hen as you can see.  I am beside myself with disappointment.  I called Callie's former owner and he agreed to take her back. (thank you kind sir)

She got a hold of our lonely bantam rooster, Uno and our Delaware, rooster Whites.  They will recover but, in this heat we will have to keep an eye our for them.  Poor babies, neigher of the animals understand what happened but, we can not have a bird killer at the Inn.  I have to occassionaly leave the farm to run errand or attend appointments.   I thought Callie had so much potential however, this morning I notice she had gathered up dropped feathers from the property.  That signalled a foreboding and now she is back at her original home.  The boys handled Callie's removal well since, Uno is one of their favorite birds.  I am seemingly the only one emotionally upset by this experience.

-SIGH-

 I want a puppy that I raise on a bottle like I did with a little mutt, TOAD, I picked up on Crete, Greece.  Then I can train a puppy to suit our needs to be a watch dog and not a member of a pack.

P.S.  Don't forget Shark Week starts tonight on the Discovery Channel.  Perfect teaching tool for homeschooling parents and just good educational material in general.

Where Am I, Chicken Boys?

Can you tell me Randy? Are you fellows homesick yet?

Sunday Chores, 100+ Outside

Nice and cool, after church lets out.

We have a hitch hiker.

Callie sucking up to the mister.

Callie, are you sticking your tongue out at me because I didn't take you to HEB?